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The Importance of Donor Milk (for Preemies and Beyond!)

By Haley Lesatz

When you first see that positive test, your mind takes off. Planning the perfect nursery, the cute pregnant person you will be in your outfits with the perfect round belly, and how flawless your birth will go… But what you don’t plan for is when things don’t go perfect; when that amazing little bundle of joy comes sooner than you ever planned. For when your birth that you had written out, can’t be followed due to complications.

Our first pregnancy went rather “perfect.” We gave birth to a healthy 7lb 12oz boy, via c-section – unplanned – due to him not dropping properly. I was a new 23-year-old mom, who planned to nurse their baby. But he had a pretty strong tongue tie which led to me pumping before he became strong enough to overpower the tie. I didn’t know I wasn’t a typical breastfeeding mom, being able to fully nurse my baby and having a large freezer stash. I was now pumping out of necessity to reduce pain and limit clogged ducts and mastitis. My son, Cormac, and I were able to donate nearly 20 gallons of milk though Human Milk for Human Babies of Wisconsin.

Our second baby, a daughter named Marlow, decided to make her way into the world 5 weeks early and was in the NICU for 6 days. Though short in comparison to other NICU stays, those 6 days were the LONGEST and HARDEST days. Nothing prepares you for leaving your tiny little baby at the hospital when you go home. I spent every waking moment next to her isolate while she underwent her blue light therapy for jaundice and had her NG tube placed for feeding. She was such a tired girl and couldn’t make herself stay awake for full feeds. She would nurse for half, then get the remaining feed through the tube. Her NG tube needed to be primed with 2 ounces of formula before the 2 ounces of donor milk could be fed, then her next feed was supplemented with donor milk as well. I will forever be grateful to our hospital for having donor milk on hand. Marlow only needed those 4 ounces of donor milk before I was able to fully take on her feeds, and just like with Cormac the over-supply came on too. Marlow and I were able to formally donate 60 gallons to micropremies. It felt like the right thing to do, given her humble start in that tiny isolate.

Our third baby and second daughter, Dorothy (nicknamed Dot), had a much more complicated entrance. A c-section was needed but, sparing some grim details, after 2 hours her birth became traumatic and resulted in an emergency hysterectomy. Similar to my other two, the hospital we delivered at provided my husband donor milk they had on hand while I underwent my surgery and recovery. It all came full circle. I donated with our first two, and now my third was reliant on donor milk as I recovered and was prescribed meds that were not breastfeeding friendly.

All three of my births taught me that, while a plan is nice and calming, sticking to it isn’t always an option. There have been parts of all of my births where the plan went out the window faster than I could have imagined. There needs to be all these other feeding options for the unplanned. Because really, the end-goal of every birth plan is simply a healthy baby.

And in the end, they all end up eating French fries off the floor and licking rocks. It doesn’t matter if they had breast milk or formula, or if it was from the “tap,” a bottle or an NG tube. We all just want a healthy, fed baby.

We’re also foster parents (hence the covered faces!)